How to Make New Friends in Your 30s and 40s

Making new friends in your 30s and 40s can feel like navigating uncharted territory, especially if you're in your early 30s. Life gets busy, priorities shift, and the opportunities to socialize and meet new people seem to dwindle. But fear not! Building meaningful new friendships is entirely possible; it just requires a different approach than in your younger years. This guide offers practical ways to make new friends, deepen existing connections, and build a fulfilling social life, no matter your age. Whether you're an introvert or an extrovert, there are avenues to expand your social circle and find people who share your interests and values.

Understanding the Challenges of Making Friends in Your 30s and 40s

Why It's Hard to Make New Friends

As we navigate our 30s and 40s, we often find that it’s hard to make new friends. Opportunities to make friends in your 30s seem to diminish as we get older. Replicating the ease of making friends as kids is tough; we need to be consistently around the same group of people. Adults, having faced betrayals and hurt, are more cautious when they meet new people and are also pickier about who they let in. As adults, we tend to get stuck in routines, and we are not usually surrounded by as many people, especially new people. We may hold the same job or live in the same spot for years, and it’s more difficult to socialize, especially with family obligations.

Common Barriers to Friendship in Your 30s and 40s

There are several reasons why making new friends in your 30s and 40s can be challenging. One significant barrier is the lack of structured environments that facilitate meeting new people and building connections. Unlike school or university, where social interaction is built into the daily routine, adulthood often involves more isolated work environments and fewer opportunities for spontaneous socializing. Moreover, many people in their 30s and 40s are already deeply invested in their existing relationships and may not actively seek new friendships, creating a sense of social inertia that complicates making connections. It's also common to feel self-conscious or hesitant about putting in the effort to meet new people, fearing rejection or awkwardness.

Impact of Life Changes on Friendships

Life changes in your 30s and 40s can significantly impact friendships. Shifting jobs, moving to a new city, or experiencing a divorce or bereavement can redefine your identity and affect your connections. These changes can lead to situations where friendships you thought were solid don't seem to endure. Lifestyles start to vary greatly; someone single versus someone married with kids will have different priorities, which can affect their number of friends. Their weekends may look different, and it may be harder to schedule things with a parent friend, which can limit the number of friends you can connect with. These shifts can create distance and make it challenging to maintain the same level of connection, requiring a conscious effort to adapt and nurture new friendships.

Ways to Make New Friends in Your 30s and 40s

Exploring New Hobbies and Interests

One of the best ways to meet new people in your 30s and 40s is to explore new hobbies and interests. Indeed, joining recurring activities is a fantastic way to meet new people. These could include:

• Social events or classes

• Team sports

Any interest groups are a great starting point, because it gives you something to do together and something to talk about that you have in common. Even solitary activities can be made social; bookworms can join a regular book group, for example. When you pursue activities that genuinely interest you, you're more likely to meet like-minded people with whom you can form meaningful new friendships. Don’t be afraid to step outside your comfort zone and try something totally out of the ordinary by finding a local pottery class or DIY workshop to make connections. You might take golf lessons or try a yoga class.

Joining Community Groups and Clubs

Here are some ideas to help you make new friends in your 30s and 40s. Consider joining community groups and clubs. There are numerous options available. For example, you could join a pottery class to meet new acquaintances and potentially make new friends.

• Join your local "Buy Nothing" group on Facebook to meet neighbors.

• Find a local advocacy organization that focuses on issues you care about.

These are just a few of the many options available to meet new people and make new connections. You can also join local meet-up groups or attend nearby Facebook events or even start your own event or meet-up group for a hobby you enjoy, such as a book or jogging club. If you want to meet like-minded people, you can also join a sports team or a religious congregation.

Utilizing Social Media and Apps to Meet People

Social media and apps aren't just for staying in touch; they can be powerful tools to meet new people and expand your social circle. While apps for romantic relationships are omnipresent, they're inspiring a burgeoning market for online friendship connectors. Several platforms cater to specific demographics and interests, for example:

• Bumble BFF has grown in popularity.

• Nonprofit 92Y’s Himan Brown Program offers connection-heavy online programming including trivia groups, social worker-led discussions and fitness classes for those 60+.

For adults 55+, the online platform Hank promises to expand your social circle with people in your area, with seven out of 10 members reporting feeling significantly less lonely after becoming a member. If you’re a woman navigating fertility, pregnancy or menopause, there’s the Peanut app. Each of these is a great way to make new friends in your 30s and 40s.

Building and Maintaining Friendships

Strategies for Keeping Friends

To keep friends, you must first be a good friend. It is often said that who you are will attract those similar to you, so if you want good friends, be a good friend first. Remember that one of the best ways to make friends is to stop pressuring yourself to make friends. Instead, focus on finding activities that you truly enjoy and find people there. If you are doing all the work in this friendship, then perhaps it may not work, and you should consider how to balance making and keeping friends. If you are in that situation, it’s worth asking yourself whether the friendship has reached the end of its shelf life and whether it's time to gently retire it. If you keep finding yourself in the situation where it’s hard to make friends, consider seeking professional help or counseling to address the difficulty making connections.

How to Make Meaningful Connections

To make meaningful connections, being emotionally vulnerable helps us form more genuine connections. When you’re in an environment where you’re meeting like-minded individuals, be expressive in your interest to become friends and expand your group of friends. Be open with people and be sure you have good intentions, are not judgemental, and root for your friends. Good friends have good intentions. Sometimes people who are extroverted don't realize how daunting it can be for an introvert to go into that kind of social situation, so it’s up to you to reach out. Remember that lifestyles start to really vary during this age frame, impacting how we perceive our closest friends. When you’re doing something fun, you’ll feel excited about the people around you and likely make new bonds. Don't put in the effort to find people who share your values.

Tips for Nurturing Long-Term Friendships

Nurturing long-term friendships requires consistent effort on your part. The glue that will keep you together is reciprocity and showing up for each other in the ways you both need. Remember that friendships will change over time, and that’s just the nature of things, so be flexible and adapt to others’ schedules when you can. That means being flexible with the other person and being more accommodating when needed. Friends having a potluck dinner is a great way to bring people together and meet new friends. Building community can be as simple as getting together with friends in your 30s and 40s. Being patient and flexible about these things is key when you find people you want to keep as friends.

Meeting New People in a New City

Finding Local Events and Activities

Moving to a new city in your 30s and 40s can be daunting, but it also presents a prime opportunity to make new friends and build a vibrant social circle. Begin by exploring local events and activities that resonate with your interests. Check out community calendars, local newspapers, and online platforms to find festivals, concerts, farmers' markets, and workshops happening in your area. These events provide a casual and relaxed environment to meet new people who share your passions. Don't hesitate to strike up conversations with fellow attendees, ask questions, and express genuine interest in getting to know them. Remember that the goal is to find people who share similar interests and values, laying the foundation for meaningful new friendships.

Networking Through Work and Professional Associations

Networking through work and professional associations offers another avenue to make new friends in your 30s and 40s. Attend industry conferences, seminars, and workshops to connect with colleagues and like-minded professionals. Engage in conversations, exchange contact information, and follow up with individuals who spark your interest. Consider joining professional associations related to your field, as these groups often host networking events and social gatherings. Participating in these activities can help you meet new people who share your professional aspirations and can become valuable additions to your social circle. These new connections could become new friends.

Making Friends in a New Environment

Making new friends in a new environment requires being proactive and open to new experiences, which can help you grow your group of friends. Announce far and wide to your network where you’re moving because chances are friends’ friends live in your new town. Try to find other people who just moved to town, because chances are they’re looking for new friends, too, and can relate to the difficulty making connections. Remember, friendship can take form in many different ways. Use VolunteerMatch to find ways to plug into your city. Accept any and all invites that come your way and keep yourself open to new opportunities, which will inevitably lead to making new friends and acquaintances. Look for opportunities to socialize and meet new people. Embrace the chance to step outside your comfort zone and forge new connections. By actively seeking out opportunities and putting in the effort to connect with others, you can make new friends in your 30s and 40s and build a fulfilling social life in your new city.